سلام.
بعد از مدتها تن آسایی این وبلاگ رو با یک عکس آپدیت می کنم و امیدوارم سال نوی همه ی دوستان عزیزم پر باشه از سلامت، شادی و موفقیت!

The Red Carpet
ساعت حوالی 2 بعدازظهری گرم و اینجا دانشگاه Wollongong در New South Wales است. با دوستان ایرانی تازه ای که پیدا کرده ام آماده خوردن اولین ناهار هستیم. در میز کناری 6 پسر و دختر Aussie نشسته اند و در مورد فیلم و سینما بحث می کنند. هنوز اولین لقمه را به نیش نکشیده ام که یکی از دخترها که دقیقاً نفر کناری من روی آن میز و پشتش رو به میز ماست با حرارت و عصبانیت می گوید:
"Brad Pitt? That bloody cocksucker? If I see him one day, I swear to God, I’ll pull down my pants and take a shit on his face! Yah!"
من با تعجب و دست بر غذا به آنطرف نگاه می کنم و آنها که متوجه قضیه شده اند به دختر گوشزد می کنند که کمی آرامتر باشد! دختر که کمی فربه هم هست ناگهان به خود می آید و برمیگردد! به غذا اشاره می کنم و می گویم:
"Brad Pitt or no Brad Pitt, either way, I’m gonna do this thin’!"
همگی می زنیم زیر خنده و من مشغول خوردن می شوم!
(Aussie اصطلاحی خودمانی و بسیار پرکاربرد به معنی Australian است.)
نان و قسم به قلع-م
قلم را بر روی میز رها می کنم، با دستانی بی توان از در آغوش گرفتنش برای این همه سالهای طولانی... خسته از تمام عاشقانه هایی که با هم خواندیم و راندیم و ماندیم و راندیم و رانده شدیم از بلندای دوزخ برین و افتاده شدیم به قعر به-هشت، جایی که آموختم که بخوان-نم به نام کاغذ و در نکوهش قلم. همان جایی که قلم ها در آن تکان نمی خورند و کاغذها بر آن ها می لغزند...
SHUTTER
مرا با دستان گرمش در آغوش می کشد، بدنم ناگهان سرد می شود، دستانم نمناک، پاهایم لرزان.
"اگر بدی از من دیدی ببخش، اذیتت کردم..."
قلب مهربان مادر وجود خامم را به سختی در هم می شکند. به سرعت نور مرور می کنم خاطرات عمرم را... با سرافکندگی سربلند می شوم، اشکهایش را که می بینم "زبان" مرا رها می کند در گردابی از افکار و احساسات. چقدر بیچاره ام، سر درگم، بی هیچ قدرت...
شاتر دوربین را به هزار آرزو فشار می دهم. ثبت می شود. می ایستم و رفتنش را با غبار در چشمهایم نگاه می کنم. دگمه► را می زنم، به عکس نگاه می کنم: خاکستری است...
Post-Graduate-Lay-f
Postgraduate life is a world of diversity that cannot be truly generalized. It might vary from one field of study to another, city to city, and from country to country. However, there are some points of connection between each and every one of them that help us remember what it is it about after all.
Right off the bat, it is physically eye-catching. You have aged since your undergraduate life! Yes, you are not 20 anymore, more like mid or even late 20s and that does mean a lot. When looking at yourself in the mirror, you can more or less see your final version of complexion as a human being, be it a university professor, journalist, clerk, waiter, a taxi driver, or a mason [bricklayer]. White hairs start to grow and black hairs begin to fall! What a pain! The purpose of your regular visitations to the gymnasium is not health, but ridding that beer belly, whether or not you drink at all! Oh, and smoking does help! Lying back, watching Jenna Jameson on your laptop in the black of the night while poking at your non-filter CAMEL is more than anything you ever dreamed of…
As opposed to your green undergraduate counterparts, you do not hesitate to leave your student ID at home! Who needs it? It is you who speak and not your card; people know you by face and name because there are simply a lot less postgraduates out there than undergrads on the campus. Your understanding of people and locations around you develops. You come to realize how hard it could be to grow independently in academia where it is not about carrying books but caring belief. It is you, who for the first time, can really sense the burden on your shoulder when you are requested to be academically active and innovative. You need to stand tall and speak up your own words. In fact, there is a two-way relationship between you as a young scholar and the world of academics around you: you listen to them and they listen to you. This relationship fills you with feelings of accomplishment and confidence. This position could be disadvantageous, as well.
When your supervisor (who could be fit or unfit in your measurements) assigns you with a rather difficult task, the first thing that crosses your mind is that you are alone! Postgraduate life, as mentioned before, is about you and not your friend(s). Basically, there is no shared project and even if there be one, it is of little, if any, significance. You may want to ask for help from your mates but soon remember that they are in the same drowning boat with you! So what are friends good for now? It is not easy to say!
Finally, postgraduate life is about you thinking about the girls around you not only as an actual girlfriend but as a potential wife. Your family will not cease for a second in reminding you that you are getting older, your hair is receding, your belly is pot-like and you have begun to get wrinkles on the forehead. Why all the botheration? It is because they want a naughty loaf-eater out of the family! They call it independence but you want to always remember that if there is no dependence, there will not be in-dependence, either! Of course, this is all your personal voice and your dear family turns a deaf ear to them. There is, undoubtedly, more to postgraduate life that this short piece could cover: politics, economy, immigration, university admission, business, overindulgence, and a lot a lot a lot more. One wonders in the end: what is the point? “Yeah, you’re right. There’s no point…” (1) Thanks for reading!
1. Up in the Air (2009)
UNdergraduate Lie-f
Undergraduate life is full of different cute moments! It could be about many things, about being reckless, taking every chance to prove everybody wrong if they ever doubt your courage and logic. You think that you are simply capable of or entitled to picking up fights with authorities, in and outside the university. In fact, you suppose that entering university has given you the privilege to speak your own ideas no matter how green they might seem to a senior of yours. It might be about you getting a student card which means a damn lot to you! It is your identity! You are requested to wear it or at least have it with you and it is such a pleasure to show it in the hope of receiving some extra respect, something that normally does not happen!
During undergraduate life, you start to have pet peeves, you know, some minor nuisances which hassle you for some time and you really want to exaggerate their presence. For example, you do want to fell that lecturer who presumably gives you bad marks. You cannot bear the thought of seeing yourself a tad lower than others, your too many friends! Yes, you come to know a lot of fellow students around as if this will last for good! It amuses you to salute them standing or sitting on every corner and alcove everyday on your way to the class. Wow, you are a celebrity! You even imagine how many of them you are going to invite to your upcoming wedding party! Oh, did I forget to say how easily you fall in love? Your monster crush on that angel you first saw down the corridor haunts you day and night and pushes your little heart inward and outward just to know if she feels the same. Granted: she does not! Besides, most of your friends usually question your sense of beauty and say that your darling is just OK! You get a no in no time and it is time you fell out of love, hated the whole idea, and lit a cheap cigarette in order to improve your self-esteem! You keep telling yourself how unimportant she is to you and how quickly you are leaving her behind! It clearly never works since that is a lie! It is all so complicated and you know that.
This period is full of pointless, boring, examinations in depressing, spacious exam halls with panda-like invigilators whom you think are good for nothing but being a watchdog in case some sort of cheating is going to happen. Yeah, of course! It is bound to take place as there are many students without a single page of read materials, yet iron-willed to get passing grades at any cost! It is always saddening to see how those who were caught cheating make a scene while being dragged out of the room hollering they were not. For a second you think what if they were telling the truth. You also feel safe that it is them and not you! Aristotle had a point when talking about feeling of purgation in the audience at the end of a tragedy.
Purgation! Big word! Right! Undergraduate life is the time for you to hear big words in their most basic meanings. You find yourself all day long memorizing any buzzword that sounds more unreachable by others and exhibits your learning process. From now on, you will not take your repast with celerity and show that you are temerarious, at times quite a fauntleroy, mauger who essays to be pukka above all! Wow, such an achievement as nobody seems to have understood a word of your thoughtful fancies, the ones you ultimately pour into poems! Overnight, you become a sensitive, philosophic poet who thinks in poetry and writes poetically! You sneak into different circles and feel how impressive it is to be in somebody’s club...
Well, nobody could deny that undergraduate time is really fun and exciting and so you could write about it on and on. However, at the very moment you begin your postgraduate life, everything changes! The next composition will cover some of these changes! Stay connected!
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